Friday, February 11, 2011

Happy Birthday, Holland!

"12 years ago today, I learned what it means to love."

I have had that phrase typed as my Facebook status for the last 20 minutes. I just sat and stared at it, unable to hit share.

What is the point of putting that as my status? I don't want to share it just so that people will comment and feel sorry for me or try to figure out what I mean by that.

And yet, I feel the need to share it. I need to tell someone. I don't know why, but I do. I need him to be recognized today.

So, I turned to my trusty blog instead. It feels safer here. A place where I can share with my friends that today is Holland's 12th birthday.

I can hardly believe it even as I type those words. Has it really been 12 years since I held that precious life in my arms? I wish I could say that the time has flown, but it has not. In fact, waiting for him to become an adult (and the possibility of getting to have a relationship with him) feels like an eternity at times. But, I am 12 years closer than I was that day. I never thought that I would make it this far.

People don't know how to handle me on this day. Most people just ignore the fact that it is Holland's birthday. And that just makes me more sad. Recognizing and celebrating him comforts me.

So I will.

Happy Bithday, Holland!  Thank you for teaching me what it means to love.

13 comments:

  1. Happy birthday, Holland! :) Praying that you'll one day meet your precious birthmom who loves you so much.

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  2. Happy Birthday Holland!
    Love you Jenni!!

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  3. What a great way to remember Holland! You are an amazing lady. Will be praying you have a good day!

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  4. Happy birthday to Holland! Praying that today is a special day as you reflect on God's blessings. I agree with your friend, Stacey, that you are an amazing woman! Lots of love!!!

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  5. Happy Birthday Holland!! Praying he knows just how loved he was on this day 12 years ago and how loved he still is! Praying for you that one day you will get to share that love with him. Sending lots of hugs & love your way!!

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  6. Happy 12th birthday Holland! What an amazing gift you are and a perfect picture of God's everlasting love. I pray you have a sweet day Jenni and that the Lord's peace and love completely surrounds you. He's so good!

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  7. Happy Birthday to your sweet son!!! I pray that the days will pass very quickly until he is part of your life again!! I have another dear friend whose daughter turned 12 today as well. I will always now remember that Holland's birth date and year are the exact same as Emma's! Your son is beautiful and looks just like you! That's something no one can ever take away from you!
    Happy Birthday Holland!! Your mama loves you very much!!

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  8. Happy Birthday Holland! So, so beautiful!!!

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  9. Happy Birthday to your getting big Holland!! You are a wonderful mother! I can't help but tear up as I think of the wonderful gift you gave to the family who is raising him! I know your heart must hurt as you celebrate. Love to you!

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  10. Wishing Holland a very happy birthday!

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  11. Hoping that Holland is enjoying his special day and thinking about the special woman who gave him life.

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  12. Happy belated birthday, Holland!

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