Tuesday, February 15, 2011

His best

Thank you all so much for your prayers and your support over the past week. I was totally overwhelmed by your outpouring of love and encouragement through phone calls, texts, cards, emails and facebook messages.

In the midst of a very lonely place, God went to some pretty extreme measures to show me that He has not abandoned me.

I wish I could list the 100 ways that He has spoken to my heart, but there is no way that I could fit them all on a page. It has been remarkable.

First and foremost was the fact that our annual Sunday School marriage retreat fell on this weekend. I know that the timing was in no way a coincidence.

Rusty had to work late on Friday night, which gave me the perfect excuse not to go. To be honest, I really wasn't feeling up to it. But, I had already arranged to ride with some friends, so I went.

I got there only to find out that the passage of the weekend was John 11. The topic was walking through trials and grief, trusting God's timing. Every worship song and word spoken was a message straight to me.

I can't adequately describe the love and support that was lavished upon us by our friends there. From notes written during worship to literal lines of people that formed to pray over us. Our speaker, not knowing my story at all, was led to pray for me by name all weekend.

We went in broken, lost, hurt, angry and empty. All weekend long, we were poured into and came out having been filled with a new peace.

We want God's perfect timing. I want the child that God has chosen for us. I am sad that it was not the one that I thought, but so thankful for all that He has taught me through losing her.

He is bigger than all of this. He is good. He has a perfect plan. He is in control.

Now, I wait for His best and am excited to see what He has up His sleeve.


  1. Jennifer,
    I know I tried to tell you in person, but I want to tell you again how heavy the Lord has placed you specifically on my heart, especially Friday night. I felt during worship, Him telling me to intercede on your behalf that your heart would not be hardened by this disappointment. I wanted to speak encouragement to you, but fought feelings of inadequacy. In the end, I submitted to His will because He is adequate in and through me. I am so glad that God used the weekend, speakers, and dear friends to encourage and pray over you! I will continue to keep you in my prayers!

  2. Jennifer,

    I also prayed for you guys all weekend during the retreat. Recently God laid the following verse on my heart, and I keep running into times that it applies in my own life, so I thought I would share:

    1 Corinthians 2:9 - "However, as it is written, "What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived" -- the things God has prepared for those who love him. . ."

    In other words, God has such great plans for you guys that we can't even imagine how great they are. And all the trials you have been through are to adequately prepare you for those glorious plans of His.

    Although I am so saddened by what you have been through, I am excited for you to experience the plans He has for you in the future. He has some glory in store for your life!

  3. I didn't get to speak with you on the retreat, but know that I was praying for you through much of the worship time. I know God has a perfect plan for you and Rusty, it's just hard to get through the present time and whatever it is, it will bring glory to His name!

  4. I just read your blog. Your blog reminded me of something I once said and that is until you are taken to some of the darkest places in life you will not truly experience God’s love and the love of others. It is just amazing just how much God loves us and will take care of us. No, it is certainly no fun going through these heart wrenching times, however, when we are on the other side of them we come out stronger, both spiritually and personally and more compassionate of others. You are certainly experiencing some of other this and you are so deserving. Please take care and know that I am thinking about you.

    Jackie Chin

  5. My sweet friend, I am sorry I am JUST now hopping over to your blog. I am devastated for you and Rusty. Absolutely. You both deserve (yes, deserve!) a sweet baby to love. I know that child is out there. I just know it. I am sorry your hearts are hurting. I will be praying for you.

    On another, much less important note, I thanked you on my blog today for encouraging me to start blogging. I put a link to your blog on it. I hope that's okay? Let me know if you want me to remove it...